If You Want Sex, Pay The Bills!

The Electric Bill Theory Of Sex-

When our kids would come home from college with the people they were dating, we would have them sleep in separate bedrooms, even though we knew they were having sex in college. We did this because it was one of our house rules and even though they were now in college, they were not financially independent yet. After they were on their own, and brought someone home, we allowed them to sleep in the same bedroom.

During their teenage years, when our kids disagreed with a decision, house-rule, or standard of ours, we had a simple answer: “When you are paying the bills in your home you can do it your way. I’m not saying this is the only way, I’m not even saying this is the best way, but this is the way it is in this house.”

We would say this in a gentle but firm manner. The point was not to make our teenagers feel powerless or to flaunt our authority, but to make it clear that rules and expectations were going to be adhered to.

Along the same lines when our three kids would ask for stuff like a car, or even comment on what they would like to do or have in life, our stock response was:
“This is what you do. First, graduate high school. Second, go to college. Third, get a job.”

After awhile this became a running joke in our home. Our kids would catch themselves after saying something to us and they would say, “I know-I know -go to college-get a job.”

This interaction, while funny, was also indicative that our kids were very clear about what we expected of them.

To function properly any organization needs structure and a hierarchy. Things get out of balance when kids don’t have any responsibilities and are able to boss and manipulate their parents.

There is a central theme in life that kids are not the ones paying the mortgage, buying the groceries, paying the utility bills, etc. Those are all adult responsibilities. Kids have different tasks and one of them is to be a contributing part of the household, not an additional burden on their parents.


So if you want to get it on, you got to turn the lights on.
And if you want the lights to come on, you got to pay the bill!