It's Not Magic, It's Expectations

I taught karate to kids of all ages for 15 years in a dojo (martial art school) that I owned and operated. Parents were constantly surprised at how quickly their children, who they thought were not able to focus, or were undisciplined, or could not pay attention for more than a minute, or were unmotivated, or something else, were in fact able to learn and do all these things.

While it certainly makes a difference if a person wants to do an activity, and whether or not the activity is enjoyable, the biggest factor was that I expected them to behave and perform in specific ways.

I believed that all of my students could be successful, both as karate students and as polite and respectful human beings. It was never a questions of if, but merely when, since everyone progresses at different rates.

I taught children with attention deficit disorders as well as ones with learning disabilities, and if a student trained for a sufficient length of time they all were able to focus, learn the curriculum, and control their bodies and behavior. My expectations, even for young students (5 year olds) was that is would happen sooner rather than later.

If you expect and insist that your children interact with you and other people with respect they will.

If you expect and insist that your children are helpful members of your family, they will be.

If you expect and insist that your children will do well in school, they will.

It is never too late to start this process. It takes the will to do so, consistency, and the realization that at first there will be resistance. In the long run it is easier because you no longer have to fight the same battles. More importantly it will benefit your children, and your relationship with them will be more pleasant and genuine.

It's not magic, it's expectations-

Now that's good parenting-